5/22 BBQ and losing my confidence 55

It was a good day today.

Last week, my hostfamily said that you can invite school friends

and have a BBQ together before we leave to our own country.

Thus, I and my housemates invited friends.

We had a nice lunch, enjoyed playing table tennis, talking a lot..

The weather was fine, so it was a perfect day.

Nowadays, I'm losing my confidence about not only my English skill

but also my personality. I'm not as attractive as the other

student, I mean it is about characteristic, not physical

appearance. I have been thinking about it.

I suppose that my talking is not interesting. Come to think of what

I talked is almost repeating what the opponent said in different

ways. It doesn't produce new ideas and topic.

Secondly, I realized that I didn't answer properly, I mean I don't

reply logically. For example, my hostmother compared some different

language school in NZ, and I talked about different courses in

one language school. I was pointed out by my roommate. Furthermore,

when we get some ideas or problems, I don't offer my ideas to the

other because I cannot hit upon my idea quickly or I'm not

confident of mine.

I think this is because I haven't been "thinking" a lot by myself.

Though I have been studying a lot since I was a child, I was just

memorizing information that teacheres and textbooks gave me.

I could memorize them only for a short while. However, I cannot

remember things that I memorized for a long time because I really

didn't think about it. It is a lack of "Why?"

Of course, there are some other factors, but this is a main reason

why I'm not attractive.

Don't stop thinking. It's easy to say.

However, seriously, I have to think things more deeply. Otherwise,

I feel like I cannot adapt the society.

vocabulary

tranquil
It means quiet and peaceful.

notification
It means the act of giving or receiving official information about
something.

souveniars:$40

drink,chips:$15

total:$55